I know it seems like autumn is the only author here. It is not true. After her plea for help, I decided I would let the world know I am still alive. Yes, I have been silent these last few months. Truth is I’ve been busy. However, good news is that there are some articles in the works. In fact, I have possibly three new articles which are close to completion. In addition, I’m considering reviewing a movie or two. Who knows. Until next time, dear readers. . .
ethan
“Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.” ~Lamartine
Let me start of by disappointing you all and saying the world did not end. Yes you still have to pay your bills, and go to the dentist. You might want to think about calling your “friend” and apologizing for where you called them all those nasty (but true) names. I know, I know the world was ending… and you just wanted to get it off your chest. Now you are faced with the choice of taking back your nasty words or waking up to find them throwing a brick through your window. Hell, just tell them you went off your anti-psychotics. They’ll believe that….. really.
Moving on, I’d like to send out a “Hey Bitches” to our regular readers in Elizabeth City, NC. I don’t know who you are or how you heard of us, but good job on having the taste to come back. See boys and girls, if you come see us regularly you’ll get mad props too. I may even give out super mad props if you leave us a slamming comment.
Now that I’m through massacring the English language, I’d like to discuss something slightly more serious. It breaks my heart to have to admit this, but Ethan and the Shameless One are missing. They were last seen frolicking with the faeries.* They were slightly drunk, and promised to come home and write soon. A few weeks have passed and sadly they haven’t graced us with their presence. To be honest, I’m very worried about them; they never slack off like this.*
So, dear readers, I’m begging you to keep your eyes open for them. Ethan could pass as Ryan Reynold’s twin, and the Shameless One, well he’s a troll.* So between the amazing hotness of Ethan and the birth defects of the Shameless One, they should be easy to spot.* Also if looking for them isn’t your thing you could try e-mailing them; begging them to write again. Failing that, you could write me and console my great loss.
Until next time, when my fellow writers have come home,
autumn
*- Please note anything followed by a star is more than likely false information.
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?” –Mark Twain
In case you haven’t heard, we here at BeShameless would like to tell you the end is near. Again. Apparently as we speak, God has sent his son to come to Earth in a golden chariot with hordes of angels, trumpet blowers and all. But don’t worry, you have a few days to get your affairs in order. Make sure you get the atheist neighbor to take care of your cat.
The newest end of the world is August 22, 2006. The day that Iran gives its answer to the U.S. about its nuclear development. And why, you ask, does that mean the end of the world? Damned if I really know, but the general consensus is that Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s answer is going to be less than friendly. In other words, duck and cover your ass Israel.
So, why August 22? Well August 21 is considered a holy night by many people of the Islamic faith. It is the “Flight Night”, Night of the Sira’a and Miira’aj. Which is the anniversary of the night Muhammad rode the Buraq (a horse with a human head) from Mecca to Jerusalem and then ascended into heaven while a great light lit up the night sky. Farid Ghadry, the president of the Reform Party of Syria, offers this as an explanation, the Iranian President is planning to illuminate the sky over Jerusalem to rival the light that Muhammad received on his trip to heaven. Let’s not forget that Ahmadinejad is also a believer in a Shi’ite tradition of the 12th imam, Imam Mahdi, who disappeared in 847 AD, but was kept alive by Allah. Supposedly, Imam Mahdi will reappear during the time of great global chaos, oppression and bloodshed. He is to bring about an era of Islamic justice. The Iranian President sees himself as the instrument to bring about the return for Imam Mahdi, and often reminds his countrymen to be prepared to back him up in this task. One more note of interest is that August 22nd is the equivalent of Rajab 28, the day Saladin conquered and entered Jerusalem.
Many have taken this as a sign of the events leading up to the 2nd coming. After all God will protect his children from impending doom, right? Right… In fact so many are sure of this that they have taken to celebrating on message boards and in churches around the world. Rapture Ready being one of the thousands of examples. Some are even so zealous that they are celebrating the death and destruction of hundreds of innocent people. Have to get the body count up, I suppose.
I love doomsday prophecies. It astounds me to no end that so many people KNOW when the world is going to end. Nevermind the fact that man has been predicting his demise since he stood upright. “Society is deteriorating. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer respect their parents and everyone thinks they have a book or story to tell. It is clear that the collapse or end of the world is at hand.” That quote is supposedly from an Assyrian tablet dated 3000 BC (cited: 10 questions- will the world end?). Also, nevermind the fact that the Bible says “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” (Mark 13:32).
Of course many have already argued with me that he said “day or hour” and said nothing about month or year. That the Bible is a code to tell us the timeline, and it is our responsibility to figure it out. Ok, fair enough, I know that everything comes down to the details. But in that case it’s also said “If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’ ” (Mark 13:36-37). So when do we start sleeping in shifts and have the phone tree ready? “Here HE comes, wake the fuck up and call Cindy.”
What it all comes down to is, I don’t know when and if the world will end. I don’t place my faith in the supposed timeline set by any book. I don’t plan on biting my nails while watching the sky. And, no matter what, I will not celebrate death of any kind just because it’s believed that it was set in motion by a God in order come collect “his children”.
Until next time, doing my part to piss off the religious right,
autumn
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