“Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.” -Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

On March 26, 2006 I wrote the first entry on this site. As I have said before, we started this site to put a light on issues that we cared about, to focus on things that went unnoticed by major news outlets, and as a sounding board for our hopes and fears. We also started this site as a way to stay close to one another. I think we succeeded in all of those things. Maybe, it wasn’t to the degree that we initially wanted, but it was still a success.

The last entry I wrote was on January 17, 2009. I just stopped writing. I was burnt out. Burnt out on stories that focused on the right or the left; stories that focused on this group of people versus that group of people. I was completely and totally apathetic. I no longer cared about my pet causes. I could read horrific article after horrific article; it wouldn’t even awake an inkling or sympathy. This site quit giving me the things I needed so I repaid it in kind. And, I stepped away.

And, now? Now I’m angry. I’m angry at the way my life is going, and myself. I’m angry at the people saying I have no right to be angry. Because, I’m so angry at personal stuff with no outlet… that is making me angry at everyone and everything else. I’ve also used the word angry too many times in this paragraph, maybe I should move on. So now, I need the site again. I need a place to voice this before I turn into an ugly person.

The best way to start this (in my opinion) is to dive right back in. Now it is no secret how I feel about Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church, but just in case you are new here… you can read my previous article HERE. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Everyone caught up? Good. So the WBC had announced their plans to protest at a local funeral of a young service man. Naturally outrage kicked in. “Who the hell is this church”, “Just what do they think they are doing.”, and “Let’s show them what a protest really is”, were common comments. I mean, fine whatever, outrage is actually a good thing here. Somewhere along the way it turned into a circus. One person I used to consider a friend even made signs to sell for the day. But, in all that time people forgot what this really should have been about. It should have been about that kid, his grieving family, and support for them. I won’t even get into how many people didn’t know he had died before this; nor, will I talk about how many had no idea who the WBC was.

In the end, the WBC didn’t show. Last night and today people were congratulating themselves on a job well done. They convinced each other that they had scared them off and that the church didn’t have the balls to come to “our” town. Are you fucking kidding me? This is the church that protested funerals for the victims in the Twin Towers. This pissy ass small town isn’t even a 16th of the numbers they’ve seen before. They have death threats sent to them daily, and they revel in it. No, what really happened is that they gave the “church” exactly what it wanted. Why breed chaos when this town did it for them? You didn’t come together as a community. You got off on the controversy and wanted to see it first hand.

You know what pisses me off most about this, though? Not a god damned thing will change. Everyone will forget about this church again. The next funeral WBC protests elsewhere… they won’t hear about. They won’t offer “support” again. It will be a story they tell around a drunken bonfire. They will keep deluding themselves into thinking they made a difference.

Until next time, I’m still pissed off.
autumn

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.” ~Anne Lamott

So I disappeared for awhile. My computer died hardcore, life was crazy around the holidays, and then… well, I just wasn’t feeling it. Although, I had to crawl out of my hermit hole tonight and write an inauguration post. They would take away my writers card if I didn’t.

Congratulations, President Obama. Enjoy the parade, the concerts, and the balls. You deserve them. There was a lot of hard work put into the campaign and transition, and you have a shit ton more to do. I sincerely hope that you enjoy the day. That way you can get the fuck to work and help us out of this gods-forsaken mess.

For the rest of you, I have some inauguration trivia:
The first Inaugural Ball was held for James Madison.
The parade for Woodrow Wilson was the first to include women.
Harry Truman’s inauguration was the first televised.
Robert Frost was the first poet involved in an inauguration.
Lyndon Johnson is the only president sworn in by a woman.
Theodore Roosevelt’s 1901 inauguration was the only one that didn’t use a bible during the oath.

Until next time, I’m still clinging to hope.
autumn

“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”- Astrid Alauda

I know things are sucking for a lot of people lately. Stress is running rampant. Things are ugly and you feel beyond tired. I understand, and I really feel for you. So that’s why I’m giving you permission to take a break.

No, seriously. Just put everything down and walk a way for a bit. Take any kind of break you need; be it mental, emotional, social, or physical. Sadly, the cause of your stress isn’t going to magically go away. (I’m not that talented.) But, despite your fears it isn’t going to get worse either unless you ignore it for an extended period of time.

What are you waiting on? Oh, maybe you don’t know how to de-stress. I don’t know what exactly will work for you, but I’ll share some of my stress busters.

Music is probably my most used one. I’ll put on a specific playlist and sing till my throat hurts. I focus solely on the music and lyrics. Everything else slides away and I relax.

Watching a movie or reading a book is also a good way to relax. I do think that it should be something you haven’t seen or read before. Because, if you have the stress will creep back in during a boring part.

Sex is often another recommended way to deal with stress. Let’s face it sometimes that just isn’t feasible. I also don’t think it’s a good idea to find a fuck buddy when you are stressed. I mean come on, everyone knows that is for extreme cases of boredom or drunkenness*. But, hell if you have access, ya might as well take advantage of it.

Finally, my second best way to deal with stress is to meditate and go to your happy place. Everyone should have a happy place, and they should make it super fucking slamming.

Until next time, “Oh but it’s okay to breathe your worries away when everything and everyone tries to lead you astray. Hold your own, hold your ground, hold to light when you’re down and always believe that there’s a way back home.”**
autumn

*- Please note, Autumn does not condone casual sex in the cases of boredom or drunkenness. After all her father reads this blog.

**- The until next time is lyrics from Hold by Axium.

“We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today.  I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great.  If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.”- Art Buchwald

So stories are pouring in at Join the Impact, and once they have final counts and everything I will share with you the outcome. The cities that have posted their totals so far are impressive. Seattle alone had an estimation of between five and six thousand. I hope that people look at that to see how united we are over this topic.

Meanwhile, I started learning to play the guitar today and have a new found appreciation for even the crappy music. I mean really, I can’t even get the damned thing tuned properly so far. I’m heading off to try again. Wish me luck.

Until next time, see you thought I was kidding about the dying cat sounds coming from my house.
autumn

“Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.”- Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

I was really trying to keep you all updated with everything concerning Prop 8. It turns out that everything is a hell of a lot. I just can’t keep up with it all. I think I’m just going to have to admit defeat with my “l33t” blog reading skills. But, what I can do is point you in the direction of a constant source of information. I seriously recommend Towleroad. I have decided that the writer is a cyborg, or a clone. It’s the only way he can post so much.

There is one specific thing that I wanted to share with you. It’s a great idea. Tomorrow there will be a Nationwide protest. All of the protests are starting at the same time. I’m assuming this is to show unity. You can read all about it, find locations, and any local relevant information at Join the Impact.

I hope everyone who can will participate. Sadly there isn’t one in my city and I won’t be able to make it to the closest one. So I will be lighting my candle, and sending positive thoughts.

Until next time, eventually love will be enough.
autumn

“Music is the only thing in this world, with the exception of sneezing and looking at the sunset, that takes you to a place that’s above the mundane. Everything else is just bullshit.”- Stephan Jenkins

I don’t necessarily agree with Mr. Jenkins on that statement. There are several things that can elevate a person. Although, music is definitely on the top of the list for me. It is occasionally the only thing that works.

I haven’t been this excited about music in a while. There are tons of upcoming albums, that I can’t wait to hear. My first musical obsession, Third Eye Blind is releasing an EP next Tuesday and is following that up with a full length next year. AFI is currently in the studio recording and they hope to have that album out relatively soon. December is going to bring us new All-American Rejects and Fall out Boy.

Oh and next week, will rock my face off. Nickleback is releasing Dark Horse, Dido gives us safe trip home, and *Squee* David Cook releases his self-titled. If you go to David Cook’s website you can listen to it before it is released Tuesday. Like I have a million times, I’m just saying. There was also something about another David, having released something Tuesday, but I didn’t really pay attention. You’ll have to ask Ethan about that. I distinctly remember something about Idol loser…

Finally if you hear the sounds of cats dying painful deaths next week, don’t be alarmed. I’m just learning to play the guitar.

Until next time, yaaaay new music.
autumn

This is your blog. My keyboard died and I am blogging by phone. Fucking keyboard. I mean really… emailing myself from the phone and then copy and pasting sucks major ass. grrrr. Oh and this means I am stuck on windows till I replace this bullshit. emailing log-in info and passwords suck more. Fuck.

autumn

“When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep?”- George Canning

So, it’s Veteran’s Day… I started to copy and paste an older post tonight. This one to be exact. But, that’s not exactly fair. These men and women fight for us every day. The least that I can do is write a new post thanking them for what they do.

When I was in highschool we often had silly dress up days during homecoming. They varied slightly from year to year. (I know this story seems off kilter, but bear with me) Sophmore year we had a sixties and seventies day. Being the odd, yet predicitable little girl I was, I naturally went full-scale hippie. Pixie and I made way to many beaded necklaces. I wore extremely large boot cut jeans and a vest full of patches that I thought represented the time. I painted a peace sign next to my eye, and made the most super slamming “Make love not war” sign ever.

I went to school, and was actually having a blast. Then I went to my ROTC class… I was immediately taken into Sgt Major’s office. Now I’m sure you all didn’t have a Sgt Major’s office (or maybe you did) but it’s very much like the principals office. Only with much more swearing, yelling, and horrible garlic breath while you stand at attention and try to avoid the specs of spit going toward your eye. Actually looking back it really wasn’t bad at all. But in a 15 year-old’s mind it was the worst possible place to be.

I was told plainly and clearly that my costume was shitting upon everything that they had taught me in the year and a half of class. It was beyond disrespectful. Then there was more yelling, cussing, and spit. Finally we sat down to talk about it like rational adults. Err… well rational adult to teenager. We talked about all the negativity that soldiers faced when coming home. I explained that the sign to me meant that if we loved everyone then there would be no war, and we wouldn’t have to worry about our loved ones going somewhere to be killed. But, I wasn’t stupid. I realized I hurt his feelings or something akin to the fact.

I threw the sign away, washed my face, and took off my vest. No I wasn’t told to do those things. I could have even kept the sign that started the mess, but I didn’t. Even then, the last thing I wanted to do was be misunderstood, to seem negative to those serving, or to hurt anyone. After all, I was all about the love. I learned several important things that day. Words have more power than you imagine, we often take for granted the sacrifices made by others, and blue eyeliner is a bitch to wash off with school supplied soaps.

So while there are times I don’t support the decisions of the military, I always support those who have to follow those decisions. It’s the only loving thing to do, right?

Until next time, I remember.
autumn

“It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.”- Earl of Chesterfield

I really don’t have anything to talk about today. I know that is shocking, considering normally I can bullshit my way through at least a paragraph. But not tonight, I mean really I have nothing. I sat and started at the blank screen for at least an hour.

The truth is (Why do people say that? It leads one to believe everything else you spout is lies…) that I’ve had a migraine since the last post. I get them fairly frequently, so that’s not really a big shocker. But, by the time I could handle staring at the computer screen, Shameless came over. I spent some time with him, and then we went to meet Ethan. Considering I don’t see Ethan as much anymore and since he isn’t going to be in town but a day or two, I wasn’t going to blow him off to come up with a blog post.

So yup, this is what you get. Hey, at least I haven’t lost NaBloPoMo yet.

Until next time, that was a whole lot of nothing.
autumn

“What this world needs is a new kind of army- an army of the kind.”- Cleveland Amory

Wow, just wow. The DF community, the Buzznet community, and only the Gods know who else have donated enough money to pay back those who bailed Mark and his co-worker out of jail. I am pretty sure, they said the amount was raised in less than 10 hours.

That is just fucking amazing to me. I am so proud of everyone who donated. His estimated amount doesn’t even include those who are mailing checks and money orders. That said, you can still donate to go toward future legal fees. But if that isn’t your cup of tea, why not consider donating to the Human Rights Campaign or The American Civil Liberties Union.

The election built my hope of this country. The aftermath of negativity and the passing of anti-gay propositions tore most of the hope down. But, witnessing this… I can’t even explain. This shows me that we can do what needs to be done. All we need is determination and compassion.

Until next time, I’m offering my hand to anyone who needs it.
autumn

“Laws are only words written on paper, words that change on society’s whim and are interpreted differently daily by politicians, lawyers, judges, and policemen. Anyone who believes that all laws should always be obeyed would have made a fine slave catcher. Anyone who believes that all laws are applied equally, despite race, religion, or economic status, is a fool.”- John J. Miller

“You’re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.”- Malcolm X

It’s passed time that I should have written about Proposition 8. It deserves more attention than I have given it. The paragraph on November 5th and the paragraph when it was introduced was no where near enough. I assumed because I was reading about it and knowing what was happening meant everyone else did. I’ve got to quit my assumptions.

Prop 8 was a California state ballot proposition that would amend the state constitution. It would make marriage strictly between a man and a woman, and in the process overturn a recent California supreme court decision which said same-sex marriage was a fundemental right.

It was a large campaign on both sides. $35.8 million was raised for and $37.6 million was raised against this proposition. That made it the highest funded campaign with the exception of the presidental race.

As of right now, the vote is currently 52.4% in favor of the amendment. 2,738,695 absentee and provesional votes remain to be counted. Despite promises by many clerks offices of continuing to issue licenses until the vote was formally passed, they have stopped issuing marriage licenses.

Obviously, this vote has received national attention. Vigils and protests are being held not only in California but across the country as well. Protests have taken place since Wednesday, and will continue through the weekend.

Before I get into the remaining protest schedule I would like to stop and tell you a story. Many of you know that I spend a lot of my free time on a forum for my favorite band. They are a close knit group, and amazing people. Several of them live in California and living this mess. One poster in particular has seen more of this than we can imagine. His name is Mark. Mark went to a rally in West Los Angeles outside of a Mormon Temple in order to protest the Church’s involvement in helping the proposition pass. He was arrested.

Now because he doesn’t yet have a lawyer, he is not describing the details leading up to arrest. He has a video up which speaks plainly enough. You can see that video here. You can also read his account of what happened after on his Buzznet journal.

I mention this because, I obviously feel based on the video that he has not been fairly charged. And as I said, the forum which we belong to is a group of close knit people. Two of his friends (also on the forum) posted part of his bail. I am asking you to donate to help pay the friends back and to help with further legal fees. He has a donate button on the buzznet journal. If you would prefer to send a money order I’m sure that could be arranged because it was for me.

As a last note on that, I would like to thank Mark and Richard. Thanks for going out there and standing up for rights. Thanks for letting me share your story. Oh and thanks for just being generally bad ass.

The protests are continuing at least through the weekend are as follow:

*San Diego had a march today at noon. The march started behind 301 University Avenue.

*Laguna Beach- 5:30 pm Saturday at City Hall. Marching to Main Beach for a candlelight vigil.

*Los Angeles- 6:00 pm Saturday at the corner of Sunset Blvd and Santa Monica Blvd. Organizers are estimating at least 20,000 people.

*Sacremento- 1:00 pm Sunday at the Capitol West steps.

Also a petition is underway to strip the mormon church of its tax exempt status. You can read the hows and whys HERE.

So that is all the information I have for you at this point. I’m sure you all know my feelings on Prop 8, and I really don’t have to start spouting curse words to make my point. So instead I’ll ask you to become involved in any way that you can. Sure it may be California and not your state. But in reality they are fighting for all of us.

Until next time, I’m lighting a candle for you all.
autumn

“The tears of the red, yellow, black, brown and white man are all the same.”- Martin H. Fischer

I just wanted to let you all know that I am holding off on my Prop 8 post till tomorrow. There is a story that I want to talk about but I’m waiting for permission first. So look for that tomorrow.

Until next time, I’m really still in disbelief.
autumn

“Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says “Go!” – a leader says “Let’s go!” – E.M. Kelly

President-Elect (I just love saying that title) Obama has started to put together his team. He announced today that Rahm Emanuel will be his White House Chief of Staff. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting announcements this quickly. I thought Obama would take a few days to get his feet and grieve for his familial loss. However, I’m so not complaining. Until I read his statement, I was wondering how to bullshit my way through another post.

So, what to do know about this Emanuel guy? Well Rahm Emanuel was a senior advisor for the Clinton administration and was a House Representative for the fifth congressional district of Illinois since 2002. Other than that, all I really know about him is that he has a 100 percent pro-choice voting record and is generally considered liberal on social issues.

I honestly, don’t know enough about him to have an opinion one way or another. I’ll do some research and let you know what I think. But for now, I will leave you with Obama’s statement regarding Emanuel’s acceptance of the postion.

“I am pleased to announce that my good friend, Congressman Rahm Emanuel, has agreed to serve as my White House chief of staff. I announce this appointment first because the Chief of Staff is central to the ability of a President and Administration to accomplish an agenda.  And no one I know is better at getting things done than Rahm Emanuel.

“During his seven years in the Clinton White House, Rahm was the point man on some of the most difficult issues, from the passage of landmark anti-crime legislation to the expansion of health care coverage for children. In just six years in Congress, he has risen to leadership, helping to craft myriad important pieces of legislation and guide them to passage. In between, Rahm spent several years in the private sector, where he worked on large and complicated financial transactions.  That experience, combined with his service on the committees on Ways and Means and Banking, have given Rahm deep insights into the challenging economic issues that will be front and center for our Administration. Though Rahm understands how to get things done in Washington, he still looks at the world from the perspective of his neighbors and constituents on the Northwest Side of Chicago, who work long and hard, and ask only that their government stand on their side and honor their values. The son of an Israeli immigrant, Rahm shares a passionate love for this country, and has devoted much of his life to its cause.

“His decision to accept this position is a wonderful reflection of that commitment, for it is not easy to give up the significant position he holds today as chair of the House Democratic conference.  The post he has accepted also will require more time away from Amy, and their children, Zach, Ilana and Leah, which I know is painful and difficult.

“I appreciate his friendship.  And I, and all Americans, should be grateful that Rahm is once again answering his country’s call,” said President-elect Barack Obama.

Until next time, I wonder who is next?
autumn

“There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.”- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I took an “Autumn’s Day” today. I didn’t watch the news. I haven’t read my blogs. I didn’t reply to emails. I just didn’t… and because I didn’t, I did more today than in a long time.

I kept commitments, but didn’t stress over them. I spoke to the coffee guy with more words than yes, please, and thank you. I taught my class to Bella, and enjoyed her company. I followed that up with a visit to a nice little tex-mex restaurant that had good food, a margarita which was pretty much a tequila slushie, and fun conversation. I capped off the night with Shameless talking about relationships, prop 8, and David Cook.

Today reminded me how much I need stress free days, and conversation that exists outside of email and my own head. I need to get out more and be social. I need to balance myself more. So, I will.

Until next time, any one up for tequila slushies?
autumn

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”- Harold Whitman

Yes, I voted Obama. I was torn between him and Cynthia Mckinney for awhile. It wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. I spent a lot of time researching and soul-searching. I’m not going to get into what made me vote Democrat. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. If your curiosity is overwhelming feel free to shoot me an email and we will discuss it. All that matters is when I pressed the button to confirm my vote, I know that I made the right decision for me.

I can’t explain how I felt when I saw Obama was projected the winner. It was a rush of emotions. I watched the celebrating and finally felt at home. I realized that this country, my fellow people were tired too. It just wasn’t a few of us hoping and fighting for something better. The majority of us demanded it, exercised it, and finally got it.

I continued watching to see the speeches and saw Mccain concede. I was honestly impressed with his speech. It seemed heartfelt; it was definitely gracious. I liked that he attempted to stop the boo’s. I naturally enjoyed Obama’s speech. I really loved the fact that he stayed composed. I respected him for admitting that it was still going to be hard and far from perfect. I was moved when I realized that, yes this is a major step, and that this is history in the making. It was a nice night.

I watched the world celebrate with us, and it humbled me. Seeing the video of the celebrations now, still moves me. I want to weep. Weep in joy, relief, and desire that the good will continues.

I don’t judge Mccain’s supporters for booing. I understand that they had so much hope, desire and work built up in this too. They were disappointed and so they became human. However, it does sadden me that they are repeating the same negative campaign ads to belittle his supporters now. I hope that once the shock wears off and the ads fade from memory, that their hate will stop.

You know, I would have lived if Mccain had won. I made jokes of moving to Canada, but that is all that they were. I would have been disappointed sure. I would have tried to figure out why people weren’t like me. Still, there is no way that I would have verbally attacked anyone who had voted for Mccain. I would have accepted the fact and lived.

So I’ve celebrated, I’ve discussed, and I’ve listened. Now I’m moving on. In the end, I’m the only one who can make or break my life. Policies can make it difficult for me, and I can be fearful of what’s happening. In spite of that, or maybe because of that, I’ll have to try harder and fight more to live for my family and friends.

We still have battles to fight. This man is not our saviour. Even while we celebrated, gay marriage was banned in several locations all over our country. Gay couples were told they could no longer adopt children. This can not stand, no one should be made to feel inferior, while we elect a president and pat ourselves of the back for being open minded and accepting. Those propositions that passed prove without a doubt, that we are not. So yes, we still must fight. However, if we did it once we can do it again.

Until next time, I think I’ll hold on to hope while I fight.
autumn

You won’t be having this fabulous writer. Mccain has conceded and we are waiting on Obama to speak.

“In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man’s torments.”- Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human, 1878

Sadly, I am in a red state. Not only in a red state but it was the fastest I had ever seen a state turn colors. That’s ok, its something that I’ve come to accept for now. One day I hope to see a multitude of colors or no colors at all.

In the meantime, I’m hopeful with the projected state outcomes. What about you; How are you feeling tonight?

For now, I’m going back to watch states change colors. I’ll back late tonight or in the morning, to tell you if I have to move to Canada.

Until next time, turn blue damn you.
autumn

“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.”- Plato

I’d like to start out tonight by offering my condolences to Obama’s family. It’s always hard to lose a family member, and I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is for him to grieve at this time. My thoughts are definitely with them.

In case you have forgotten by the barrage of media attention, tomorrow is election day. I know that you all are going to go vote. I don’t have to remind you of that. I’m sure by now you have decided who you are going to vote for, or you are well on you your way there. So, no need to go over the candidates again. However, lets go over a few things that you should know about tomorrow.

I hope that you all know the location of your polling place. Just in case you don’t… Click on over to Google Vote Location Maps. All you have to do is put in your address and it will tell you where to go. I also sincerely hope that your address matches what you registered.

Several city websites also have estimated wait times if you just have to know. However, I know that you really aren’t going to mind waiting in line. Those websites are just for your curiosity, right? If you are really concerned about wait times I recommend comfortable shoes. However, lines bring out the worst in people. They often want to know who you are voting for, or want to tell you in excruciating detail why they are picking their candidate. My advice for this is to bring a small paperback book that you can tuck out of the way.

This year people are extremely concerned about voter fraud, voter protection, and general voting problems. I can understand that. People want to breed chaos and fear. Therefore I have a couple telephone numbers and websites for you to visit, if you do have problems.  First off, some states require a photo ID and some don’t… Just save yourself hassle and bring it along.

If you need to make a report regarding election protection, please call 1-866-OUR-VOTE. This number can be used for a varity of reasons. If you are not sure who to call because of a problem you experienced, this hotline can point you to the right place.

Now, if you believe a voter fraud is taking place call 1-888-VOTE-TIP. This hotline is also used for Vote Theft, including problems with electronic voting machines.

Finally I have some websites for you to report problems, or just get general information. They are as follows:

Report Voting Problems.org – This website describes itself as “a database to serve as a central collection point for reporting and analyzing all election problems. It works with various voting organizations, but is completely independent of any groups.”

Obama’s website to report problems – Yes this is Obama’s website. It also includes a telephone number to call and report problems.

To be fair, I tried to find a similar site for McCain. I didn’t find one. If you happen to know the website let me know and I will put it up.

Election Protection is the last website I have for you. They describe themselves as “The nonpartisan Election Protection coalition was formed to ensure that all voters have an equal opportunity to participate in the political process.”

So there you have it. I hope this information helps you tomorrow. Now, if you don’t mind I am putting politics aside for a little bit to watch the Redskins play.

Until next time, I won’t have to hear stupid attack ads for much longer.
autumn

“Madness need not be all breakdown.  It may also be break-through.”- R.D. Laing, The Politics of Experience

It’s official. I have lost what little bit of a mind I had left. I’ve done something very scary, and I may not live through it. You see children, Auntie Autumn has given herself to way to many projects at once. I am continuing my tradition of participating in National Novel Writing Month. In and of itself that is crazy enough; however, I am also starting a new tradition this year. I will be participating in National Blog Posting Month. Yup, I will be writing a novel and posting on this blog everyday for one month. If that is still not enough for you… well fuck you. Heh, actually I will also be posting on my personal blog Autumn’s Flame. So be prepared for delirious filled blog posts and randomness.

In order to kick off the randomness, I took a look at our google referrals to see what brought you here in the first place. Being the kind generous soul that I am, I will either answer your questions or point you in the right direction. For clarity I will surround each google search term with a star.

*I say ha you say ho*
We’ll actually I say stupid whore, but I suppose I can shorten it just this one time for you.

*Explain- Every human being of whatever station, whatever origin deserves respect*
::blinks:: I really don’t know how to explain that to you without being disrespectful. But, oh how tempting it is.

*Averett Graduation University Ceremony Pickets*
Phelps is at it again, isn’t he? Didn’t he already do that in 2005 or 2006?

*Well sometimes enjoy*
Enjoy what? Long walks on the beach? Sunrises on a misty morning? A Vodka Martini? I’m all about enjoying, but don’t leave me hanging.

*Ally Sheedy waist hips*
I’m assuming she has them unless there was a horrible accident that I didn’t know about.

*Ally Sheedy forum*
Did you find that forum? Was there an accident? How bad was it? Oh Gods why?

*Stories about Sodomites*
Be thankful I answered this and not the boys… Otherwise the stories would never end, and several of you would be scarred for life.

*What does tempt Karma, meanie*
You will not tempt Karma by calling me a meanie. I have found that Karma is tempted by long walks on the beach, misty sunrises and vodka martinis… wait no that’s not right.

*Come the rapture we’ll have the earths to ourselves*
That we will, and oh the glorious things we’ll do.

*Micheal Saevage*
is an asshole… I’m sure that’s what you meant to say, and I agree. But just for future reference it’s Michael Savage.

*try to talk my way out of it*
No it’s ok I’ll forgive you for googling him just this once. Really only this once though.

*We’ll he found how to quit you.*
And you’re an evil asshole. Prick

*emo ally sheedy*
I would be emo too if I lost my hips and waist.

*Sodomite movies*
Shhh just google male on male. I don’t need this to turn into an adult site. If you want recommendations email Ethan and TheShamelessOne.

*who wrote sing sing a song*
Joe Raposo. See who needs Google when you have me. Unless you need me to recommend movies…

*quit sending email forwards*
Sorry Ethan… I’ll try

*I’m dreaming of a caucasian holiday*
Really? Because, I’m dreaming of chlorine in the gene pool.

*Sing a Song*
Which one? The Joe Raposo one? Fine… Sing, sing a song. Sing out loud. Sing out strong. Sing of good things not bad. Sing of happy not sad.

There you have it. All your questions have been answered. Now if you don’t mind, my novel is calling me.

Until next time, errr… um tomorrow.
autumn

“The dinosaur’s eloquent lesson is that if some bigness is good, an overabundance of bigness is not necessarily better.”- Eric Johnston

There has been alot of coverage for the political candidates this year. We know where they stand on most of the issues. However there is one vital question that has yet to be asked. So The Shameless One and I took it upon ourselves to interview the candidates we felt mattered. We asked only the one question.

Do you believe in dinosaurs?

Barack Obama (Democrat)- “Thank you for that question. I do believe dinosaurs existed. I believe if they were here today that they would deserve to be provided with affordable and accessible healthcare. They too would be ready for change.”

John McCain (Republican)- “Yes I believe in dinosaurs. In fact, my friends, there were several in my POW camp, and they believe that Obama will raise taxes.”

Cynthia McKinney (Green)- “Leave the oil in the soil! You know what to do, use the dinosaur poo!”

Joe Biden (Democrat)- “I do believe in dinosaurs, and I believe that they would be ready for change. Let me say that again. THEY… WOULD… BE… READY… FOR… CHANGE!”

Sarah Palin (Batshit Crazy)- “Ya know, being a Maverick from Alaska I have had a chance to talk to those Joe Six-Packs and like me they believe that no indeed dinosaurs did not exist. Gosh darn it, Satan put those bones here to turn us from God.”

This is an important issue for those of us here at BeShameless, and it could be a deciding factor in our vote for the Presidency. Therefore, we decided to share it with our dedicated readers, so that they too could make a sound, informed decision. Thanks to all the candidates for their time. We weren’t aware of how strongly their voices would resonate in our heads.

Until next time, “Mr. Hammond, I have decided not to endorse your park.”
autumn and theshamelessone

“Political campaigns are designedly made into emotional orgies which endeavor to distract attention from the real issues involved, and they actually paralyze what slight powers of cerebration man can normally muster.” -James Harvey Robinson, The Human Comedy, 1937

So originally I wasn’t going to post after Crimson this time. I was going to see if our Green Lady brought out the fire in our resident Democrats. I was going to wait and see what the boys said, and occasionally jump in and stir the pot. I love stirring the pot. In a group such as ours, it actually brings out some healthy discussion. However… I made the mistake of watching the news and talking to people today. I should fucking know better.

Before I get into the ranting, I’m going to break down my political leanings for you. I am not Democrat. I am not Green. I am not Republican. I am not Reform. I am not Libertarian. Are you seeing a pattern? I suppose I would be considered an Independent. I hate labeling myself in anyway when it comes to politics. That said, stick me where ever the fuck you want. I really don’t care what you expect of me. Oh, and guess what? I am undecided on this election. Yes, you did read that correctly. I am UNDECIDED. As in, I don’t know who I will vote for come election day.

So… that brings us today. I wake up bright and early, choke down my horrible coffee, and read my email. Without getting into details that would call people out and violate their privacy, I had a couple emails from a person who doesn’t like the fact that I’m fairly open about being undecided. They had a list of reasons why this makes me a horrible scum of a human being. One was if I didn’t vote for Obama I was obviously a republican and wanted Mccain to win. According to them if I did that I needed to quit lying to people and label myself accordingly.

I was going to let it go. Really, Mostly, Sorta… I was actually just going to reply to them and let them know that I thought they should stick the dick back in their mouth, and quit spewing their cum tainted trash around me. See how level-headed I am? You’ll be happy (or maybe extremely disappointed) to know that I censored myself and trashed the email reply I was going to send. I decided it just wasn’t worth the energy to prove this hateful, hateful person wrong.

I had quit thinking about it by the time I got home. I had a great day with my niece, and was thinking of how much fun we had dancing to the Wiggles. Sadly, that was brought to a crashing halt by a quote that I read.

“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?’ To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”- David Sedaris

I know that he is speaking of those who the major news networks find to do undecided polls. I know that he is referring to those who are simply undecided between just Obama and Mccain. While I don’t know for sure, based on the previous quote, I imagine that he is one who thinks that a Third Party vote is a wasted one. Don’t get me wrong Sedaris is an amazing author (I love all of his books that I’ve read) and a great humorist. Seriously though, enough is fucking enough.

I’m sick of being told that I’ll throw my vote away if I don’t vote Obama. I’m tired of being told that I’m picking the lesser of two evils if I don’t vote for a third party. I don’t need to hear that this whole country will burn in hell if I don’t vote Mccain.

Here is a tid bit for all of you. All of our options fucking suck. They are all either bat shit crazy, inexperienced, or some form of horrid. Yes I mean all; Mccain, Obama, McKinney, Nader, Barr, Baldwinn, Keyes, Jay, Amondson, Weill, La Riva, Moore… Need I go on?

So, I’m fucking undecided. I’ll make up my mind when I make up my damn mind. I’m still tempted just the write in Ethan B. Shameless nominee for the Geek Party.

Until next time, I’ve had enough of seeing people treating political candidates like messiahs.
autumn

]]> http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/10/24/you-know-what-its-time-to-say-fuck-it/feed/ 0 http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/09/04/i-think-i-should-avoid-the-twin-cities/ http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/09/04/i-think-i-should-avoid-the-twin-cities/#comments Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:28:41 +0000 autumn cliffschecter firedoglake com 2008 09 03 activist groups deplore police brutality during rnc http www minnesotaindependent com 6952 youth in iconic rnc protest photo beaten by police according to his mother http dncrnc wordpress com category police brutality http www minnesotaindependent com 6292 pre rnc police raids reporters notebook http www wildhunt org 2008 09 breaking pagan cluster protester html http www kare11 com video player aspx aid 81605 http politicalticker blogs cnn com 2008 08 30 police raid headquarters of rnc protesters http www presstv ir detail aspx id 68226 amp www alternet org blogs peek 97474 media_silent _but_activist_groups_loud_about_rnc_police_brutality http protesters police brutality sickened and disgusted the police force received an email 3 pagan protesters police brutality activists deplore police brutality youth beaten rnc protest dnc and rnc news blog pre rnc police raids police raid headquarters moving tenby autumn wild hunt pagan protesters arrested video protesters police brutality sickened and disgusted the police force received an email 3 pagan protesters read the wild hunt blog protester tasered media silent http://beshameless.net/?p=77

“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.” ~Voltaire

“You’re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.” ~Malcolm X

Ya know I was actually going to avoid talking about the political conventions. There is always a ton of bullshit that surrounds them, and frankly I’m fucking over it. Especially this election year, it definitely seems worse than before.

However, I keep reading about the protests. How they were stopped, raids on protesters, police brutality, how even fucking journalists are being jailed for reporting about said protests. So naturally I am pissed off.

Then I received an email… 3 pagan protesters were arrested yesterday. They were members of the Pagan Cluster. One of whom, Jason, was tasered four times while he was not resisting arrest. You can read more about it on the wild hunt blog, and view the video of Jason’s incident at kare11.com (All links will be found at the bottom of the entry).

I am sickened and disgusted. The police force has been way out of hand in these situations. I do realize that they may be scared and that there is the possibility of rioting. And that they did have a group of people earlier in the week who needed to be legitimately arrested and some force was necessary for that group. Still… they are taking it completely overboard. 295 arrests have been made so far several have been detained for a short while only to be released and not charged (but just long enough to miss their protest time.)

But what pisses me off the most is that more attention is being paid to the Palin baby controversies than any of the above situations. So in turn I’m leaving you all with several links at the bottom of the post to read about this fucking mess.

Until next time… Fuck it I’m moving to Tenby.
autumn

Wild Hunt- Pagan Protesters Arrested

Video of Protester Being Tasered

Media Silent about Police Brutality

Activists Deplore Police Brutality

Youth Beaten at RNC protest

DNC and RNC News Blog

Pre-RNC Police Raids

Police Raid Headquarters of RNC Protesters

Democracy Now Blog

“All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field.” ~Albert Einstein

So it’s obviously campaigning time. I know this because of the thousands of signs in yards, the barrage of TV commercials telling me that the Democratic or Republican nominee for county seat is actually the nephew of Satan, hot men knocking on the door while I’m doing yoga with a friend telling me that Dem. John Smith will fix all my problems, and the rush of typo filled ignorant email forwards swearing that Obama is the Anti-Christ. (One of these days I will make a list of the supposed anti-christs and see what number we are up to now.)

If you haven’t received these emails count yourself lucky. That or take all your friends and contacts out for drinks. They deserve it for not spreading this smut. But for those of you that haven’t read it, let me sum them up by saying they attack his Muslim heritage, his families history, quote his book (but I’ll get to that in a minute), and spout bible verses.

Just so you know I’ve read the book that the writers take their quotes from and they are extremely out of context. Yes those are his quotes, but there are other things added with it that have been magically left out. I mean that just shocks me that an anti-Obama email would leave out positive things or cut short the point that he makes. But all that aside, I just want to mention that the quotes used are things he said are in past tense. He’s speaking of previous times in his life. Goddess knows that we all use to believe things and think things that we no longer agree with now.

More over I don’t care which person you vote for they both have encouraging, and damning records. They both have ugly things they shy away from. I won’t argue with you on the fact that Obama has little experience. I won’t argue when you tell me that McCain has no idea what human equality should be. I won’t argue with you on the fact that they both have pitiful ideals on energy conservation, the war in Iraq, and fixing our economy. I won’t even blink an eye when you all try to sway what my vote will be.

I will however judge you to be a myopic, unaware human being when you try to sway me using racial issues, religious belief, or the history of someones family. Are you the exact thing that your brother, sister, father, mother, or aunts and uncles are? Or would you rather tell me that you’re family is perfect? Or that you would disown them if what they did hurt your chances to be a leader of some sort? Despite my family’s history I wouldn’t do such a thing.

Perhaps we should judge him because he’s a Muslim? Never mind the fact that he has converted to Christianity. Because once you start with a religion that’s all you can be. That’s why I’m still a God fearing Bible thumping Baptist with no idea of what any other religion entails. But back to the Muslim thing, I mean everyone knows that Muslims are responsible for all the bad things in the world, it isn’t a secular group of over the top psychotic people or just singular bad people that do horrible things. Nope not at all. I mean if that was the case there would be Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Pagans in prison too or being executed and since that never in the history of the world has happened it must be all the Muslims.

Despite the fact that people are so against Obama because they think he’s going to destroy the world as we know it, how many of them voted in the primaries? The excuse that they don’t matter is invalid. Because they are just as valid as the election in November.

So all I’m saying is think about the things you are reading and sending before you press the forward button, pick up his books and read them, Read news sources other than Fox or MSNBC, Read foreign newspapers about the state in the world, Look at the candidates voting records and where they stand on the issues. Try to verify things being said in the forwards if you just have to send them all. Most of all try to remember that your negativity does nothing but breed more negativity and ask yourself is that what we really need in the United States or anywhere else in the world?

Until next time, I’m just saying.
autumn

]]> http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/06/26/well-be-ok-as-long-as-you-quit-sending-email-forwards/feed/ 1 http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/06/04/and-so-it-begins/ http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/06/04/and-so-it-begins/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:13:14 +0000 autumn devotes chief energies party unfit silliness over american idol democracy party commonly succeed 1956 well suppose my time suppose means prove the http://beshameless.net/archives/2008/06/04/and-so-it-begins/

“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.” ~H.L. Mencken, 1956

Well, I suppose my time of silliness is finished. American Idol is over, and I can’t stand So You Think You Can Dance. That means I actually have to pay attention to the news, and that also means you all get to read my political rants.

I don’t have a rant now, though. I’m just stopping in to let you know the latest little tidbit. The New York Times is reporting that Obama claimed the Democratic Nomination tonight. At the time of this post Clinton has not withdrew herself from running. However, since Obama is over the threshold of needed delegates, I imagine that she soon will. (Hell what do I know, I’m just a hag who sits and writes blogs at midnight with a Miller Lite in hand.)

So that, my dear readers, brings us up to date. You can look forward to my bitching as we proceed to November.

Until next time, Do I really really have to start reading the news again?
autumn

“You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.” ~James Matthew Barrie

So, um, hi there! It looks like I have officially broken my resolutions again. I am so super slamming at that. I’m not going to make excuses or try to talk my way out of it. I’m not even going to try to charm you all into forgiving me. I mean after all intelligent, beautiful, understanding readers such as yourself would never fall for something that cheap… heh.

Anyways, lets get back on track. There are three things that I want to talk about today. One having to do with a special meaning of today, and another is a little bit of religion news (that’s fitting since it’s Sunday). I’ll will get to those in just one minute.

First, I have to say something. A couple weeks ago important votes were cast. We were given the opportunity to make an important decision. We made the right one. Congratulations America, you have restored my faith in you. For you picked David Cook as your next American Idol! ::cheers, and fan-girls out::

Ok, ok that was horrible of me. I know, I should have been talking about how gay Californians were allowed the right to wed, or how the Democratic fucking primaries are still going on. Trust me, before its over with I’m sure I will. But I needed a little silliness. I’m happy about the decision made in California, but how can I talk about that without writing about all the negative backlash that followed? How can I mention that without saying that ignorant assholes are already trying to get the decision changed? I just wouldn’t have been able to. Likewise, I don’t have anything positive to say about the Democratic primaries. In fact, I am so disgusted with everything going on there, that I probably shouldn’t speak of it at all. So, I’m ignoring all of that for as long as I can. I’m taking this moment to enjoy the fact that a man whose music I love received the recognition he deserved. So HOORAY for David Cook.

Moving on, Friday the Vatican issued the statement that any Catholic women who attempted to become ordained as a priest, or anyone who ordained the women would be immediately and eternally excommunicated from the Church. Do I really need to tell you how much this pisses me off? I mean I know the reasoning behind it. Christ only had men as his Apostles. Therefore Catholicism decided, since J-dawg, only hung with the boys, that women couldn’t be spiritual leaders. I’ll never understand how a church that holds such respect and praise for one woman can ignore all the needs of other women. Granted, the only thing useful that woman did was bear a child. But, if nothing else this is reaffirming my disbelief and outrage of sexism in the church.

Finally, today is First Sale Day. It’s a day that affects all of us without most ever knowing. As a little proof, did you ever check out a book at the library? Accept a friend’s cast off of a book or CD? Shop at a used book or music store? I’m sure you have said yes to at least one of those. If not, what the hell is the matter with you? Stop reading this and go to the library right now. At any rate it’s thanks to First Sale Day that we can do this legally.

You see 100 years ago today there was a Supreme Court case. This case was Bobbs-Merrill v. Straus and became known as the first sale doctrine. This wonderful wonderful doctrine says that the owners of books or other copyrighted items have the right to dispose of them as they see fit. Which means I can sell them, donate them, lend them out, give them away to friends, rip out each page individually paper my wall, or what ever the hell I want. Guess what else? Even if there are notices saying that buyer that the item is conditionally licensed, that little doctrine is still in effect. It is still part of the Copyright laws. If you want to read about First Sale Day a little, ok a lot, more in depth go read this wonderful article at Everybody’s Libraries.

Until next time, I’ll be at the used bookstore

autumn

“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.”- unknown

So this is it. Two years ago today the first post was written. I sat cigarette in hand, worrying that I had gotten in over my head, and trying to come up with something to write. Two years later… I’m doing the same thing. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Last month I wrote a post called “A special entry”, even though it temporarily disappeared it’s now back in the proper place and everything that I wrote there still stands. I love my fellow writers, the bonds that we have, and the stories that we create. But that’s not all… I love you readers, I love the comments that we have, the friends on our myspace, and all the positive feedback.

Seeing as this is starting our 3rd year, I being the queen of all that is rocking and awesome, proclaim this resolutions day as well. I resolve to write frequently, to encourage the others to do the same (even if it involves bribes or threats), to bring you guys into the process more, and to make this blog more awesome than ever.

So to wrap this up, I just want to say thanks again for an awesome two years. I hope the other authors will post today as well (with the exception of Ethan, who completes his move today) and share their thoughts on this milestone.

Until next time, I’m finding blackmail on the shameless1, and offering treats to crimson,
autumn

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

I was actually saving this idea, this entry for Beshameless’ second birthday. However, something has come up that makes me want to share it with you all now.

As I said, I was saving this for the 2nd anniversary of my very first entry. I wanted to do something special for it, and not let it slip by unnoticed like last year. So I sat down and thought it out. What would make it special? Calling people out for things I don’t agree with? I do that all the time. The occasional post of good news wouldn’t do either, because our world still isn’t seeing very much of it. I decided it deserved some real thought. Why did we start Beshameless? We fooled ourselves into thinking that we would be cutting edge, talk about things that often went unnoticed, or to shed new light on the same old story. In some aspects we were and are; but, to me it was for another reason entirely. I didn’t realize it at the time… I see why now.

BeShameless started in March of 2006, when the three original writers were facing crossroads in their life. Sure we had talked about it for awhile, played around with the idea often. Yet, we never actually got it started until we all came to the cross road. I think that we actually started this site to remain close to each other.

The three of us were facing the possibility of splitting up. Shameless was going back to where he had been living, and Ethan was offered a promotion that would require him to move. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew without a doubt that I would miss them both more than I could imagine. So the site began, we spent alot of time together talking it out and bringing it to light. Even now, I remember the day that it came online. Ethan was having some technical trouble and was talking with the site host or something to that effect. Shameless and I sitting on Ethan’s couch talking about the 1st entry. When the tech consultation was over we spend the rest of the night coming up with grand ideas, and constantly hitting refresh to see if we were online yet.

Beshameless became our own sort of family. It has inside jokes (usually about some people not updating ::coughshamelesscough:: ), it has its own set of self imposed guidelines, and hopefully one day it will have its own traditions. After all, we have already grown to include one more to the family. Crimson went from reader, to occasional commenter, to full time writer. She’s become one of us… And, even she posts more than Shameless.

I’ve always had a hard time adequately expressing the way I feel. Even with my constant foot in mouth symptoms, I hope that my fellow writers know how I feel. They are my family, in this little corner and in the real world. I respect, admire, and most of all love them with all my heart. These two years have been beyond amazing, and I can’t imagine life without them.

That being said, the reason I bumped this up instead of saving it, is because once again we are separating. Ethan, darling, I can’t say enough how much you mean to me. Yes I know you are only a few hours away… but I’ll miss having you close by. More importantly, I hope that this move will fulfill you (that way I don’t have to help you pack again, hehe) and that you find everything that you are hoping for.

Oh and to the readers out there, Ethan isn’t leaving the site. I wouldn’t allow it. If it came to that I would chain him in my basement. He would be allowed a laptop with windows vista (bwahaha) and the only website he could visit would be this one. So have no worries, our geek god isn’t leaving here.

Until next time, I’ll think fondly of you all,
autumn

“Life is a great sunrise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one.”
– Vladimir Nobokov

I have just spend ten minutes thinking of a way to open this entry for you all… My emotions are high right now, and I’m not going to attempt to censor myself for the sake of compassion or tolerance. So if you have come to read one of those articles… well you’re shit out of luck.

As I know you all have heard by now, the world has lost a fabulous person, a terrific actor, and a icon to many. The world lost Heath Ledger yesterday… Our thoughts, prayers, and good vibes go to anyone that the man had touched. We wish him a happy journey to the afterlife.

And that’s where we stop. I fucking mean it too. I don’t care how he died, I don’t want to hear the rumors of the things that lead up to it. That’s it. It’s fucking time for every asshole to step back and let his family, friends, and fans grieve.

God damn it! What the hell is wrong with people? Within hours of his death, the assholes and crazies ran out of the woodwork. Some of them weren’t a shock but nonetheless I’m still fucking pissed off. I want to know where respect for the dead went. I have a quick personal story to tell you before we get back on to the crazies.

My stepfather recently died, he was a great man and many people respected and admired him. We were told that he had one of the largest wakes, and funeral processions that the town had ever seen. While in the procession I witnessed something I rarely see. Cars would pull over to the side of the road and let the whole line of cars go by before they started again. It’s a customary thing that I had always been taught to do. It was a sign of respect for the dead, and the survivors. That small act of kindness from those people helped me to keep my eyes clear and to keep going.

I want to know why everyone isn’t like that. It’s never a good thing to maliciously cheer someones death. It’s fucking disgusting. And already we have at least 3 occasions well published for Heath’s death.

Of course Fred “crazy mother fucking asshole” Phelps has stated that Heath is in hell, and that his cult will be picketing the funeral. This didn’t surprise me. It appalled me as usual, but I expected nothing less from a group of people who hate everything and everyone. I still think that they should receive divine intervention, by means of the plague, or massive heart failure.

Best Buy took the opportunity to make some sales. Within hours a store had assembled a makeshift memorial with all of his movies, informing some customers who hadn’t heard the news, that Heath Ledger was dead, and what better way to remember him than buying his movies and re-watching them.

Go to http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/01/23/when-is-a-makeshift-best-buy-tribute-to-heath-ledger-too-soon-the-answer-always/ if you’d like the witty version of the news. Personally I don’t even have the words to describe what a complete and total bastard the store manager was. Scum, shit, and a sorry excuse of life comes to mind.

Finally the worst to me was John Gibson. If you aren’t aware who this ignorant, cunt-faced shit is, well count yourself lucky. Suffice to say he is one of Fox’s ultra conservative trash peddlers. He had the fucking nerve to play several Brokeback Mountain clips. One being “I don’t know how to quit you.” These evil bastard then said “Well, he found out how to quit you.”. WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS? Seriously what the hell is so fucking sad about your life that the only joy you get is making distasteful, horrid jokes? Was he so turned on by the movie that he lashed out and continually had horrid things to say about the actors? Of course, Gibson couldn’t leave well enough alone. He also continually played the clip from the same movie where Heath says “We’re dead”; as well as, making Heath’s death a long running joke for the rest of his show. If you want more information about this I suggest you go to http://thinkprogress.org/2008/01/23/gibson-mocks-ledger/

Because frankly, I’m done here. I’m so sick of ignorant discriminating people. It’s sad when a man isn’t even dead 4 hours before this shit starts. Actually, as Ethan pointed out, it started before the body was moved. Camera crews flooded his apartment building recording and bombarding everyone with the pictures of the officials taking the body with them. It’s sad and inexcusable to start these things at all, but to start it before anything comes back with conclusive answers… all these people deserve to be stricken sterile and set on fire.

Until next time, I send my love to those who have lost and my disapproval to those who are making this harder than it already is,

autumn

“Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.” – William Penn

Hello again my lovelies. I hope that Ethan’s last post didn’t cost you all to much time. At the least, I hope that it cost you less time than me. That’s why you haven’t seen me in weeks. I’ve been correcting all of my tags, and I’ve been reviewing grammar rules. I may even make Ethan proof read this so that I don’t look like a complete moron. Which is bound to have happened in some of my previous posts.

But, lets sit and discuss his post for a minute, shall we? I’m interested in hearing what you thought of his post and what you gained from it. Meanwhile, I’d like to tell you what I learned from it. Grammar aside, it is very important that you choose your words correctly.

Misspeaking can change the whole meaning of your statement.. It can make you look ignorant, racist, uncompassionate, or just a plain ass. I was having a conversation last night with someone who loved to throw the word faggot around. You have to understand that when you use that word, despite the feeling behind it brings up negative emotions.

Yes in this case that was his intent; to be insulting, to display negative feelings about something that he didn’t like. Once I objected he continued to try to justify his choice of words by making the statement that it was ok because he uses that word to �insult straight people.� And, that it was ok because he had gay friends.

Let me point out the flaws in his retorts. First off, if you feel the desire to insult someone wouldn’t it be better to point out their faults? I mean seriously if you want to piss them off just �read� them. Point out their horrid choice of dress or their lazy eye. Something that will connect to them. I don’t condone meanness or insults, but wouldn’t that be the best way to go about it?

Secondly, I have gay friends is no excuse. In that case you should hold the word with more respect because of the times your friends have had it thrust in their face. Many times they were hurt by that word, why let it breed? Taking a line from Ethan’s book… I have had friends of other ethnicities, but I don’t use the words nigger, wetback, coon, beaner, chink, haji, kyke, wop, etc.

Needless to say his arguments became more ridiculous after that, until he realized that I wouldn’t bite any of them. One that astounded me the most was �Well, I’m for free speech�. Yes so am I but I’m also intelligence, compassion and understanding.

Until next time, I think the gene pool needs a little bleach,

autumn

“Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves.” — U Thant

Wow, have you all noticed the regular updates? I’m thrilled that we seem to be falling into a system where writing is getting done. Most of that is thanks to Crimson. I think that I have finally convinced her to become a regular author instead of an occasional contributor. Ok, ok so I begged, bribed and eventually threatened. But, hell whatever works. So welcome her to the team, and show her what wonderful readers you really are.

Speaking of work, Ethan is tweaking a few things on the site. While you may not notice this visually, it’s really great stuff. He may have a great surprise where you can search for posts by author name. I’m not making any promises, but hopefully that will work out.

Now moving on to what I want to bitch about today. I’ve actually been thinking of posting this story for awhile now, but I had to put it to the side a few days. That way I could actually write something other than “Oh those stupid fucking bastards, what devil did they sign a deal with to prevent being assassinated.” Along with my personal favorite curse words. I think that I’m to that point now, but we’ll find out together.

So by now, you all know who I’m talking about when I say Fred Phelps. Yes the antichri… er um… the evangelical preacher of Westboro Baptist Church. The once civil rights lawyer. Now, I’ll give you time to pick yourself up off the floor…. steady? Ok good. Yes I did say that this evil bastard use to be a civil rights lawyer. He worked on behalf of African Americans for various suits. Also notably, he sued then President Ronald Reagan for appointing an US Ambassador to the Vatican. Phelps claimed that this failed to be separation of church and state. He was eventually disbarred in 1979 for committing perjury.

So what the fuck happened? Did the disbarment affect his mind so badly that he became a living scum? I don’t really know how the switch happened. I’ve run across dozens of theories. So instead of listing them here, I’ll leave it to your imagination. We do know that he is anti-gay, anti-semitic, anti-sweden, anti-canada and against flag idolatry. Fred Phelps refers to the United States as “A sodomite nation of flag-worshiping idolaters.”

But on the other hand, he supports Fidel Castro for his response to homosexuals. He also was a temporary fan of Saddam Hussein. He wrote letters to Hussein complimenting him and asking to come to Iraq and make a speech. When his request was granted Phelps and the other members of the insane lunatic gathering then traveled and proceeded to protest the US. The love affair was short lived however because after Saddam was hanged Phelps released a video which stated that both Saddam and Gerald Ford were now in hell.

Phelps has targeted many people and groups with his infamous protesting. and his favorite seems to be funerals. Some of the targets include Jim Wheeler, Matthew Shepard, Diane Whipple, September 11, 2001 victims and those involved in rescue attempts, Gwen Araujo, the Columbia disaster, Fred Rogers (who the fuck can be against Mister Rogers, for crissakes), Americans killed in war (over 80 funerals so far), Canada (Phelps has a website strictly for this and many of the others but I refuse to post them), Ronald Reagan, Reggie White, Pope John Paul II, Averett University graduation ceremony, 2005 London terrorist attacks (their victims and rescuers), Hurricane Katrina victims, Sweden, William Rehnquist, The Sago Miners, Coretta Scott King, Sam Brownback, Michael Guest, Pat Roberts, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Ed Rendell, The Amish School Shooting, Billy Graham, 2006 North Carolina tornado victims, Huntsville bus accident, Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford, Nyia Page, The 2007 tornado outbreak victims, Louis Theroux, Kevin Smith, Jews, The VT massacre victims, Jerry Falwell, The Cheney’s (when Mary had her Son), Craig Thomas, Ruth Graham, Keith Allen, Tammy Faye Messner, Ireland, Minneapolis Bridge Collapse, Utah mine disaster, Italy, Larry Craig, Gregory Bowman, 2007 California fires, and the Jokela High School Shooting.

Jesus fucking Christ and Mother Mary on a pogo stick. You would think that God would strike him dead to protect his image. It’s just that… Argh. Fuck, shit, damn, hell, whore, bastard, blasphemer. See what this ignorant piece of trash does to me? I can’t even think of rebuttals to the things he does. I’m sitting here waiting for him to take of the mask and be a time traveling Ashton Kutcher. “You’ve been future punk’d, bitches.”

Since we all know that isn’t going to happen I will leave you with a happier note. As of October 31, 2007 the evil fucker is 11 million dollars shorter than he was. A federal jury awarded the 11 million to the father of a Marine, who was killed in battle. Phelps had protested the funeral. Albert Snyder won the suit, and he is believed to be the first family of the fallen soldiers to do so. The jury awarded him $2.9 million in compensatory damages, $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for emotional distress. Of course, Phelps intends to appeal the decision and said “Oh, it will take about five minutes to get that thing reversed.” Well I sure as fuck hope he doesn’t. I also hope that this helps ease some of the pain that those affected by his intolerable bullshit. I also hope that others file suit and are given justice as well. I wonder could we all band together and sue him? I mean just having to read thing he has said has made my IQ drop 50 points… thus I have emotional damage.

Until next time I’m going to start plans to protest his funeral,

autumn

::In the back ground Autumn begins to whisper::- Ok so I’m getting ready to do my first post in months, no one else has updated either.. So what do I say… I was abducted by aliens, The FBI was looking for me, oooo wait maybe I had amnesia. Fuck, these people all know that I’m just a huge slacker that ignores all self imposed deadlines. I guess I’ll just carry on like I haven’t missed any posts. Maybe they’ll think it was a site error. Sure a site error and I can blame that on Ethan. Yea, that works. Bwahahaha!

“When George Washington threw the dollar across the Rappahannock River, he didn’t realize he was establishing a precedent for government spending.”- Harold Coffin

I’m going to be right up front with you all, I am horrible with money. I suck at saving it, budgeting it, hell even keeping it in the same place all the time. I’m awesome at spending it though. But, no matter what I always know what I did with it even if I did come to regret the purchases. I can tell you how much the original purchase was, the descriptions of all the items, hell I can even tell you what the average retail value was and if I received a deal. At the worst I may temporarily misplace ten bucks.

Apparently the U.S. State Department has a different amount that they can temporarily misplace. I mean its nothing for them to raise an eyebrow at or anything. After all 1.22 Billion Dollars is just chump change. Yes boys and girls I did use the words misplace and billion dollars together. On Tuesday, We finally heard that the state department does not know what it exactly received for the billion dollar contract with security firm DynCorp International.

The Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction received a boot in it’s ass and was forced to suspend it’s audit of the contract after they were told by administrative officials that they had no confidence in their own accounting records.

So what were the problems with the accounting records? Oh, gee nothing much just a few duplicate payments, a purchase of a never used x-ray machine (1.8 million dollars on the x ray machine alone), a $387,000 bill in hotels to house the DynCorp officials rather than staying in ready accommodations, and the list just continues

So obviously the next step in my mind would be to sit down, organize records, and figure out where the money actually went, right? Well sure that’s a great idea. The only hitch there is the records and receipts are in such disarray that it could take three to five years to straighten out.

Hmmm, right of course. Fucking idiots. Here we are having a crisis in education funding. Schools are forced to cut programs every day. Be it the arts, sports or faculty. The contract I just mentioned was offered in 2004 and then in 2006 Bush proposed to cut education grants by 4.279 billion dollars. So much for no child left behind. And of course we all know of the growing problems of health care and social security.

Instead of focusing on growing problems here, we funneled money into a security corporation that was supposed to train police for Iraq so that the soldiers were free to focus on other things. We can’t even pick a security agency that will have reputable business acts and general abilities of bookkeeping.

I, seriously, become more disgusted ever day. Is it to much to ask for a government that is at the very least competent in what they set out to do? Never mind the fact that I might not agree with them, I just want them not to fuck up this badly every time I turn around.

Until next time… ::shakes head and wanders off::,

autumn

“How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

That being said, I’m trying REALLY HARD to be good right now. I’m trying so much to reserve those snarky comments that just fall from my tongue. While, I’m writing this I want you to know that the whole time I’ll be chanting- Be nice, be nice, be nice.

Jerry Falwell died today. He was found in his office unconscious and with no pulse after he missed a morning meeting. He was 73 years old. He led a long life in which he had definite beliefs and little “give” when it came to others way of living. He was also well known for his controversial quotes. In order not to include my personal feelings I’m just going to list some of these quotes and let Falwell speak for himself.

“The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way�all of them who have tried to secularize America�I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.”

“AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh’s charioteers . . . AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

“If the American Atheists Society or Saddam Hussein himself ever sent an unrestricted gift to any of my ministries, be assured I will operate on Billy Sunday’s philosophy: The Devil’s had it long enough, and quickly cash the check.”

“Thank God for these gay demonstrators. If I didn’t have them, I’d have to invent them. They give me all the publicity I need.”

“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.”

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

“Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.”

“The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.”

In the end I just have to say, Falwell, while being far in the Christian Right and having some wild theories, never gave up in what he believed in. That is something to respect if nothing else.

Until next time, see I was nice afterall,
autumn

This will be my last update of Virginia Tech. I need to step away from it. I can’t keep reading these stories and interviews. I was ignoring all other news and immersing myself completely in this event. I need to focus on several things at once. I need to form an opinion and educate myself on all current events. Ethan or TheShamelessOne may choose to continue picking up this story, but that of course will be up to them. Don’t worry though I won’t leave you in the dark. If there are major changes to anything, I will of course update you. I will also post the link to the wikipedia entry.

We now know alot more about Seung-Hui Cho. We have heard (and in some occasions read) of his disturbed writings. Writings which were filled with graphic violence. He had also been investigated for stalking 2 students. I refuse to this as an excuse or an explanation but he was also diagnosed as mentally ill in 2005 by a Virginia special justice, in which he was ordered to seek outpatient treatment. Cho’s great-aunt also claims that he was diagnosed with autism at age 8.

Personally, I think that the most disturbing piece of information is the videos that he sent to NBC. The package was sent in between the first shooting and the second. During these videos he blames everyone and everything possible. He says “I didn’t have to do this. I could have left. I could have fled, but no I will no longer run.” He continues with, “It’s not for me; it’s for my children, for my brothers and sisters… I did it for them.” He compares himself to Jesus Christ, saying that he crucified himself like Christ in order to inspire the weak and defenseless people.

While those videos are sad and tragic yet overwhelming disgusting and disturbing, somewhere deep my heart bleeds for the little boy he must have been. The one that became so broken he couldn’t climb out of the hole that he was in. I wonder when exactly the break in his mind, spirit, and soul began. This whole situation is tragic. All the lives were ended needlessly. Hopefully we will learn a lesson and grow from all of this, the lesson we should have learned long ago. We HAVE to tolerate and respect each other. We don’t have to like each other, because lets face it that is a tall order. We HAVE to stop the demeaning, judging, and persecution. We are all stuck here together, we HAVE to learn to live together in peace.

With that said, I’m going to wrap this up. Below you will the new list of victims, as well as, the link to VT wikipedia entry.

Ross Abdallah Alameddine- Saugus, Massachusetts
Brian Roy Bluhm- Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Ryan Christoper Clark- Martinez, Georgia
Austin Michelle Cloyd- Blacksburg, Virginia
Matthew Gregory Gwaltney- Chesterfield, Virginia
Caitlin Millar Hammaren- Westtown, New York
Jeremy Michael Herbstritt- Blacksburg, Virginia
Rachael Elizabeth Hill- No additional information at this time.
Emily Jane Hilscher- Woodville, Virginia
Jarrett Lee Lane- Narrows, Virginia
Matthew Joseph La Porte- Dumont, New Jersey
Henry J. Lee- Roanoke, Virginia
Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan- Blacksburg, Virginia (orginially from Indonesia)
Lauren Ashley McCain- Hampton, Virginia
Daniel Patrick O’Neil- Lincoln, Rhode Island
J. Ortiz-Ortiz- no additional information at this time
Minal Hiralal Panchal- Mumbai, India
Daniel Alejandro Perez- Woodbridge, Virginia
Erin Nicole Peterson- Centreville, Virginia
Michael Steven Pohle, Jr.- Flemington, New Jersey
Julia Kathleen Pryde- Blacksburg, Virginia
Mary Karen Read- Annandale, Virginia
Reema Joseph Samaha- Centreville, Virginia
Waleed Mohamed Shaalan- Blacksburg, Virginia (originally from Egypt)
Leslie Geraldine Sherman- Springfield, Virginia
Maxine Shelly Turner- Vienna, Virginia
Nicole White- Smithfield, Virginia
Christopher James Bishop- Foreign Languages Instructor
Jocelyne Couture-Nowak- Adjunct Professor, Foreign Languages
Kevin P. Granata- Professor of Engineering Science and Mechanics
Liviu Librescu- Professor of Engineering Science and Mechanics
G.V. Loganathan- Professor of Civil and Enviromental Engineering

Virginia Tech Tragedy on Wikipedia

Until next time and in memory of those who died,
autumn

More information has come to light today about the shootings. Some names of the victims have been released and the shooter has been identified. At the end of this post I will give the list of names that I have found. As I have said before I will continue to update any new information that comes to light.

The shooter was identified as 23 year old Cho Seung-Hui. He was a resident of Centerville Va, but resided in the dorms. There were two weapons found with him; one was a 9mm and the second was a 22mm. Cho apparently wanted to remain anonymous. He carried no id on his person and wiped the serial numbers from both guns. Also at this time there still is no known motive; while there was a note found in his dorm room with several grievances about the campus life. It is also believed that during the 2 hours time difference he went back to his dorm room to prepare for the second part of his action.

Classes will be canceled for the remainder of the week, and the school has offered several counseling opportunities for the students and family to express their grief. Also at this time 12 victims remain hospitalized. While the full list of those who died have not been released this is what we have heard at this time:

Ross Alameddine- 20, Saugus, Mass.
Christopher James Bishop- 35, German Proffessor
Brian Bluhm- no additional information at this time
Ryan Clark- 22, Martinez, GA
Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a foreign language professor.
Daniel Perez Cueva- Student from Peruvia
Prof. Kevin Granata- 45
Caitlin Hammaren- 19, Westtown, NY
Jeremy Herbstritt- no additional information at this time.
Rachael Hill- 18, Henrico County
Emily Jane Hilscher- 19, Woodville
Jarrett Lane- Narrows, VA
Matt La Porte- Dumont, NJ
Henry Lee- Roanoke, VA
Prof. Liviu Librescu- 76
Prof. G.V. Loganathan- 51
Lauren McCain- 20, Hampton, VA
Daniel O’Neil, 22, Rhode Island
Juan Ortiz- 26, Bayamon, Puerto Rico
Erin Peterson- no additional information at this time
Julia Pryde- Middletown, NJ
Mary Karen Read- Annandale VA
Reema Samaha- Centreville, VA
Leslie Sherman- no additional information at this time
Maxine Turner- Vienna, VA
Nicole White- 20, Hampton Roads, VA

One final note, CrimsonLadybug, you are absolutely right. I still remember the Columbine day vividly too. I remember exactly where I was and what happened while all the students with me watched in horror. This will never fade away. Not in CO, or VA, or the Amish shooting in PA. We learn to cope and deal with the pain that’s present and never understanding why. Thank you for the lit candles. It means alot.

Until next time, I’ll be learning to cope,
autumn

�There are hurts so deep that one can not reach them or heal them with words� � Kate Seredy

I know you all have heard about the tragedy that took place in Blacksburg, VA today. This really hits me in the heart. The details of what happened are still unclear and law enforcement is working on finding out all the information that they can. However at the time of writing this there are a few things that we believe are accurate. (If any of this information changes I will post an update.)

33 men and women are dead after a massacre on the Virginia Tech campus today. The Washington Post is also saying at least 30 more were injured. The shooter at this time is still unidentified but is said to be an Asian male. He had used two 9mm pistols in his unbelievable rampage. It is also believed that he used chains to lock the main entrances of the building in one shooting.

The shootings took place in two locations more than two hours apart. The first shooting took place in the dormitory of West Ambler Johnston. Two students were killed during the first shooting. This shooting was reported to happen approximately at 7:15 am. At the time law enforcement believed this as an isolated incident. So, there was no need to �lock down� the campus. They believed that the suspect had fled and were continuing the investigation when the second shooting occurred.

The second shooting took place at Norris Hall (where the college of science and engineering is housed) two hours later and almost a half mile away. This is the shooting that the chains were used to lock the entrances. It is also where 30 students were killed before the shooter turned his weapon on his self.

This is a very sad story with many questions still to be answered. Of course the biggest questions are who and why. There are also questions being posed to the directors of Virginia Tech. Such as why the school was not immediately placed on lock down, and any errors that may have been made to keep students safe, such as the notification system. Questions that, I personally think, should be put on hold until families are notified, the who and why are answered, and students are given time to take this all in and grieve.

I think that it is also notable to say that in the past weeks there have been several bomb threats. Two of the threats were aimed at the science and engineering department. However, at this time, there is no information if this is connected to the shooting today.

As I said before, this is an incident close to my heart. I have friends and ex-coworkers that attended Virginia Tech. I haven�t heard anything from them yet, but I am keeping my hopes up. At the same time, I am happy to say Ethan had some coworkers that attended the school as well. They are all safe and uninjured.

I just wish that everyone was as lucky as Ethan. It is really heart-breaking to see this story unfold. I hope all those that are injured pull through. I will keep you updated as more information comes to light.

Until next time, my heart bleeds for Virginia Tech,

autumn

“I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound- if I can remember any of the damn things.”- Dorothy Parker

I’m finding that my little thing of quoting influential men and women at the beginning of a new post is harder than I imagined. At first, I cheated. I “googled” quotes on whatever subject I was writing about; then a few posts in, I decided I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to recite them from memory. At some point I’m sure I’ll have to go back to relying on the trusty search engine that has become my god. But, with that said, you all get two quotes this week. Both are from the amazing Dorothy Parker.

Before I get to the second quote, I just want to say this is my first book review. Yup, that’s right. It’s the start of ShamelessReviewing. I knew you all would be very excited, and ever if you aren’t I’m pretending otherwise. I hope this is the first of many reviews to come. Yes, I admit it’s because I’m a slacker and prefer to judge other people than come up with topic that you wait for with bated breath.

Either way, whether my reviews are positive or negative, I respect authors, musicians, actually anyone who creates. They are putting a piece of themselves on the line. Anyone who can put a part of their soul out there for all to view deserve respect, even if people think their work is shit. Creators who share have bigger balls than both Ethan and TheShamelessOne combined. Luckily, in this case I don’t have to compliment the author’s anatomy, because the work speaks for itself.

“If you’re going to write, don’t pretend to write down. It’s going to be the best you can do, and it’s the fact that it’s the best you can do that kills you.”- Dorothy Parker

Living Through the Night is the first official collection of work by Desiree Jensen. The collection of her work takes the reader on a fantastic journey. Whether you are looking for horror, fantasy, or something that spans all genres, this is the book for you. I�m serious too, you bitches gotta read this shit.

The first half of the book is Desiree�s short stories. While most of the short stories can send shivers down your spine, she starts off with a story that I couldn�t place in a genre if you made me. �A Cookie and Stories of Emily� is a heartbreaking look at what anyones life could turn into on a whim of fate.

Honestly I could run a commentary on every story in this book, but I want to leave surprises for you. So, I�ll just mention a few of my top picks. �Dream a Little Dream of Death� and �Road Trip Music� both offer a peek at the amazing quality of what the human mind could be. These horror stories are well written. We all know that horror can easily become horrific writing. I�m glad to say that Desiree knows when to push the story along, or when to slow it down and build suspense. She doesn�t have to slap you in the face with the ending. Regardless of the pace, it flows nicely and tapers off.

My favorite story in the book is �He Wore a Pinstriped Suit�. It�s very surreal and despite the content, it has a calming nature. So much is left up to the reader in this story. There are no clear cut answers as to why or where. You get to choose. There is one line in the story that sticks out into my mind, making me want to find out the answers. �I have tried reading between the lines but the story moves too fast.� Regardless of whatever ever meaning was intended by the author, the story becomes your own.

The second part of the book is poetry. Some are still horror and fantasy, but more than that you can get a peak into Desiree�s mind. You can tell by the way they are written that they were very close to her, and as I said before the baring of her soul is something to respect. I never know how to critique poetry, I just know when something speaks to me and I like it. However, there is a couple in here that I love.

�Knotwork� and �Selfish Healing� are the two that speak the most to me. “Knotwork” to me is part of my heritage, and something that I�ve never forgotten to hold on to. �Selfish Healing�, I relate to. To me it speaks of the desire to do good, to help, to love, to grow, but underneath it all no matter what you say the reasons are, it stems from selfishness. Sadly no one does anything for the spoken reasons, it is all self interest. It�s the nature of the beast. But, that my friends is another BeShameless rant entirely.

I think that this book has something for everyone. I also think you should go buy it right now. Yes, right now� Finish the article and go buy it. Of course, it would help you if knew where to buy it at. So, bear with me while I give you a few links.

The book can be purchased at Desiree’s Lulu Storefront.

Also, every 5th book she sales, the profits from that book are divided up and donated to three charities. The charities are Elliott Smith Memorial Fund, S. June Smith Center, and Vh1′s Save the Music. Information about the charities, author information, Living Through the Night information, as well as an excerpt can be found at Books by DJensen

If you are a myspace whore, you can find Desiree at Living Through the Night at Myspace. Tell her BeShameless sent you. But don’t spam her, you bitches.

Desiree is also the founder of Bending Spoons a literary e-zine. You can find some of her work there as well as other horror and fantasy writers. Hell, you can even submit your own work. I’m sure she’d love that.

Until next time, have you bought the book yet?

autumn

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody. ~Rita Mae Brown

I could start off this entry by once again apologizing for the lack of updates. If I did I would swear that we still love you, and that it wouldn�t happen again. I would also say something to the effect of it was simply because time got away from us again, and how busy we were. But, I�m not going to apologize. Nope not this time, instead I�m going to say that this is BeShameless 2.0, and that despite the fact that it looks the exact same it�s the second version, damnit. Like the phoenix, we have risen from the ashes of virtual death. We are new, improved, and fucking slamming as always. Ok, now I�m going to stop my bullshitting and mixing my metaphors. No, seriously, I have several things I want to talk about in the coming weeks. I even have a book review to throw in the mix. So get use to seeing my smiling� er, no that�s not right�. get use to seeing my scowling face on a regular basis.

Let�s start off our new fabulousness by talking about Utah. Yes, fuckers, I said Utah. In January, the openly gay senator, Scott McCoy, was planning to sponsor a bill to repeal the ban against sodomy. I wish him luck, mostly because all prior attempts to remove the ban have failed. It even failed after the Supreme Court decided in a 6-3 ruling that they would not convict or punish citizens who practiced sodomy. Despite the ruling on his side, McCoy faces opposition. Senator Buttars stated that he would �fight that all the way.� He also states that, �You can like sodomy, I don’t. I think sodomy is sickening.� It seems to me that he would like sodomy� I mean he already has a stick up his ass.

Poor Buttars, continued to show his myopic, closed minded ways this week. He was relishing in the fact that a bill he and Senator Tilton sponsored has passed the Senate and is on the way for Gov. Jon Hunstman Jr. to sign. This bill will allow schools to ban clubs they believe would threaten �moral well-being� of the children or faculty. The bill would also require parents to sign a consent form allowing children to join clubs, as well as requiring the club to outline the information they will discuss a week in advance so that the principal and parents could review it.

Now, of course we aren�t talking about the chess club here. Buttars has tried several times to stop Gay-Straight Alliances in local schools. He has been quoted as saying Gay-Straight Alliances are �a recruiting tool for gays and are tearing down the moral pillars of society.� Ugh, come on now� we all know Gay-Straight Alliances are to find fag hags. Jeez. Heh, no ok, this isn�t a place for jokes. Seriously Gay-Straight Alliances are very important activities that promote tolerance and understanding. So I say fuck Buttars and Utah. When this goes thru and if the schools shut down your club, take it off school property. Don�t give up or become discouraged. Do it to spite them, but also do it because it�s needed.

Until next time, I�ll be writing letters to Utah,

autumn

]]> http://beshameless.net/archives/2007/02/22/utah-makes-my-head-hurt/feed/ 0 http://beshameless.net/archives/2006/10/20/at-least-now-i-have-an-excuse-to-wear-lycra/ http://beshameless.net/archives/2006/10/20/at-least-now-i-have-an-excuse-to-wear-lycra/#comments Sat, 21 Oct 2006 02:16:34 +0000 autumn http://beshameless.net/archives/2006/10/20/at-least-now-i-have-an-excuse-to-wear-lycra/

“An election is coming.� Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.”- T.S. Eliot

I was asked the question today why I was so consumed with politics and why I was so interested in the �horrid� news stories that are thrown at us constantly. It shocked me for a moment; until I realized that most people would rather avoid hearing about the bad. They want to hear that it�s all getting better. They want to believe that we all are safe and cozy inside our beds. They delude themselves into thinking that we have the best people possible running our nation and assisting our world.

Now, call me Captain Obvious if you must, but that isn�t and will never be the case. We will never be safe, happy, or cozy. Even if the politicians and American leaders change drastically, we will always have bigots and extremists contradicting the things they claim to stand for; they will continue to degrade anyone who doesn�t follow the same path that they do.

So, why fight, comment, learn, and grieve if it will never change? It�s who I am… I can�t stand to see people hurting and fighting for something that they should have without question. I have to hope that any small changes made will help those that I love. Mostly, I am trying to understand. I�m trying to make sense of it all. Supposedly we are the greatest nation in the world; yet, those that should lead us and try to make us better cut us off at the knees and leave us to bleed?

For example, read some of these quotes. These men and women are our past, present, and (Goddess forbid) our future. They are harsh and disgusting�.

�Not all Muslims may be terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims.�- Ann Coulter, from her syndicated column on 9-28-2001

�Oh, you�re one of the sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. How�s that? Why don�t you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better than to put me down, you piece of garbage. You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it.� � Michael Savage, comment made on national television show Savage Nation, 07-05-2003

I know that several of those quoted are wack jobs and few take them seriously. However, several people do take their words to heart. That is what saddens me the most. Needless to ask but, how can I not focus on politics, civil rights, and news stories seriously after that? How can I not try to get my word out and try to educate and communicate with people? So if that means I read a lot of news sites, and talk about it at length that�s ok with me. I�ll continue to be Captain Obvious.

Until next time, I�ll start sewing my super suit,
autumn

�War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting?� ~The Value of Families

Heya, kids. Sorry for the lack of updates. Life became insane here again. I know that we�ve said that a lot lately; but honestly, time has just gotten away from us. I looked at the site today and realized that it�s been months almost 2 months since anyone has said a word. I know that you all feel abandoned, but I promise you that�s not the case.

There were quite a few things that I wanted to talk about but they have all moved on to the �uber old news� category. I�ll start paying more attention to the news and all the articles that are e-mailed to me. That way I can give you the story in a timely manner.

There is one thing that I have to share with you all, though. Everyday I drive home from work and enjoy the scenic view. I mean it�s awesome� leaves are dying and falling on the road, it�s still raining like a son of a bitch, and political signs are everywhere. Now, despite that bit of sarcasm, political signs don�t really bother me. I understand that everyone is looking to get their word out before November second. And really, what grabs someone�s attention better that a gigantic fucking red, white, and blue sign the size of a house? Normally I can ignore the signs and get on with my drive. However, there is this one sign that sticks out like a sore thumb to me. It�s neon yellow, which is annoying enough, and it sports the slogan �Virginia for One Marriage. Vote yes for the Virginia Marriage Amendment.�

Every time I see that sign it enrages me. I seriously want to go rip it out of the yard or spray paint the damn thing into a rainbow. Maybe it�s because this is the one issue I�ve always felt strongly about. Maybe, it�s because the majority of my friends are gay and will have to fight and struggle against this stupid fucking amendment. Or, ya know� maybe it�s because I�m a decent fucking human being and I want everyone to be able to express love and be safe and secure in their relationships.

The morbid curiosity in me made me go to the website to check it out. I�m not really sure why I did other than I, apparently, needed something to escalate my rage. I went and looked at their frequently asked questions; there was one in particular that my mouth fell open. I stared at the answer to this question for a good 15 minutes. It dumbfounded me. When asked �Shouldn�t Homosexuals have the right to marry?� part of their answer said, �They claim, falsely, that the right to marry lies in any couple, when in fact it lies in the individual. Not just any conceivable configuration of people have the right to marry because rights belong to individuals – not groups. In reality, homosexuals have the exact same right to marry as we all do. The debate is not about who has access to marriage – we all do. It is about defending what marriage is and always has been.� Ummm� well first off just look at the loads of contradictions there. Secondly, I get what they are saying. They are saying �Sure, fags can marry� if they find a woman and make a big front out of it.�

Of course the rest of the site consisted of repeating itself and saying that by allowing gay men and women to marry would ruin the sanctity of marriage. They needed to protect marriage and the children by voting for this amendment. God damned ignorant, pathetic, myopic assholes

I know I�m preaching to the choir here. If I�m not preaching to the choir maybe you should find a new blog to read. But be that as it may, I�ve ranted long enough. I want to encourage you all to speak out on this subject. If you live in VA or in TN, I want to encourage you to go and vote the 2nd, and for crying out loud vote NO. Actually, if you live in any state that is pushing the marriage amendment, GO VOTE!

Until next, I�m going to go see if Wal-mart has spray paint on sell,
autumn

�Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.� ~Lamartine

Let me start of by disappointing you all and saying the world did not end. Yes you still have to pay your bills, and go to the dentist. You might want to think about calling your �friend� and apologizing for where you called them all those nasty (but true) names. I know, I know the world was ending� and you just wanted to get it off your chest. Now you are faced with the choice of taking back your nasty words or waking up to find them throwing a brick through your window. Hell, just tell them you went off your anti-psychotics. They�ll believe that�.. really.

Moving on, I�d like to send out a �Hey Bitches� to our regular readers in Elizabeth City, NC. I don�t know who you are or how you heard of us, but good job on having the taste to come back.� See boys and girls, if you come see us regularly you�ll get mad props too. I may even give out super mad props if you leave us a slamming comment.

Now that I�m through massacring the English language, I�d like to discuss something slightly more serious. It breaks my heart to have to admit this, but Ethan and the Shameless One are missing.� They were last seen frolicking with the faeries.* They were slightly drunk, and promised to come home and write soon. A few weeks have passed and sadly they haven�t graced us with their presence. To be honest, I�m very worried about them; they never slack off like this.*

So, dear readers, I�m begging you to keep your eyes open for them. Ethan could pass as Ryan Reynold�s twin, and the Shameless One, well he�s a troll.* �So between the amazing hotness of Ethan and the birth defects of the Shameless One, they should be easy to spot.* Also if looking for them isn�t your thing you could try e-mailing them; begging them to write again. Failing that, you could write me and console my great loss.

Until next time, when my fellow writers have come home,

autumn

*- Please note anything followed by a star is more than likely false information.

“But who prays for Satan?� Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?” –Mark Twain

In case you haven’t heard, we here at BeShameless would like to tell you the end is near. Again. Apparently as we speak, God has sent his son to come to Earth in a golden chariot with hordes of angels, trumpet blowers and all. But don’t worry, you have a few days to get your affairs in order. Make sure you get the atheist neighbor to take care of your cat.

The newest end of the world is August 22, 2006. The day that Iran gives its answer to the U.S. about its nuclear development. And why, you ask, does that mean the end of the world? Damned if I really know, but the general consensus is that Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s answer is going to be less than friendly. In other words, duck and cover your ass Israel.

So, why August 22? Well August 21 is considered a holy night by many people of the Islamic faith. It is the “Flight Night”, Night of the Sira�a and Miira�aj. Which is the anniversary of the night Muhammad rode the Buraq (a horse with a human head) from Mecca to Jerusalem and then ascended into heaven while a great light lit up the night sky. Farid Ghadry, the president of the Reform Party of Syria, offers this as an explanation, the Iranian President is planning to illuminate the sky over Jerusalem to rival the light that Muhammad received on his trip to heaven. Let’s not forget that Ahmadinejad is also a believer in a Shi’ite tradition of the 12th imam, Imam Mahdi, who disappeared in 847 AD, but was kept alive by Allah. Supposedly, Imam Mahdi will reappear during the time of great global chaos, oppression and bloodshed. He is to bring about an era of Islamic justice. The Iranian President sees himself as the instrument to bring about the return for Imam Mahdi, and often reminds his countrymen to be prepared to back him up in this task. One more note of interest is that August 22nd is the equivalent of Rajab 28, the day Saladin conquered and entered Jerusalem.

Many have taken this as a sign of the events leading up to the 2nd coming. After all God will protect his children from impending doom, right? Right… In fact so many are sure of this that they have taken to celebrating on message boards and in churches around the world. Rapture Ready being one of the thousands of examples. Some are even so zealous that they are celebrating the death and destruction of hundreds of innocent people. Have to get the body count up, I suppose.

I love doomsday prophecies. It astounds me to no end that so many people KNOW when the world is going to end. Nevermind the fact that man has been predicting his demise since he stood upright. �Society is deteriorating. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer respect their parents and everyone thinks they have a book or story to tell. It is clear that the collapse or end of the world is at hand.� That quote is supposedly from an Assyrian tablet dated 3000 BC (cited: 10 questions- will the world end?). Also, nevermind the fact that the Bible says “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” (Mark 13:32).

Of course many have already argued with me that he said “day or hour” and said nothing about month or year. That the Bible is a code to tell us the timeline, and it is our responsibility to figure it out. Ok, fair enough, I know that everything comes down to the details. But in that case it�s also said “If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’ ” (Mark 13:36-37). So when do we start sleeping in shifts and have the phone tree ready? “Here HE comes, wake the fuck up and call Cindy.”

What it all comes down to is, I don’t know when and if the world will end. I don’t place my faith in the supposed timeline set by any book. I don’t plan on biting my nails while watching the sky. And, no matter what, I will not celebrate death of any kind just because it’s believed that it was set in motion by a God in order come collect “his children”.

Until next time, doing my part to piss off the religious right,
autumn

“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.” ~Jos� Narosky

A couple days ago, I broke out my old ROTC shoes and polished them. At the time my intention wasn’t to think of the military, or to begin to grieve and worry about my friends in the services. I simply took them out of the closet to show Ethan a couple tips I learned about polishing shoes.

Of course for me the simple act of polishing and the smell of the polish itself took me back. It started off with just remembering getting ready for uniform days. I then progressed into remembering drill meets, inspections, and of course my fellow ROTC brats. I remembered their plans for entering the service and the hopes and goals they set for themselves. I wonder now how many achieved their goals. I know several didn’t. At the same time I know several who had no desire to join the military did join, and from what I’ve heard are doing quite well.

I’ve always thought the military is an interesting beast. Now, I’m not talking about their purpose to serve and protect their country; despite the fact that I’m against this war, I still realize the value of our service men and women. In fact I respect them more than I respect most others. I suppose what I find odd is the fact that these men and women pretty much sacrifice their lives to do this, even when some of them don’t agree with what they end up doing. Even more than that is the love that grows for their fellow soilders, the brotherhood that is with them for life.

I don’t mean to make this sound like I’m all the way pro-military either. The military is far from perfect (then again, what isn’t?). The most glaringly obvious example is Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Before the letters pour in let me say that I understand the reasoning behind it; I just don’t agree with it. There is also the fact that a few units disapprove of allowing your religion to read Pagan on the dog tags.

Be that as it may, I don’t mean to focus on the military. I mean to focus on those who make it up. You’ll notice my quote for the entry said “In war, there are no unwounded soilders.” This quote was for one of the guys in my old study group. He spent a year or better in Iraq. When he came back he wasn’t our same old guy. He had hardened, become cynical, and somewhat bitter. I don’t blame him, I hear his stories and wonder why he isn’t harder and even less who he used to be.

Also, that quote is for someone very dear to me who has decided to join the Army. I just hope that he’ll be able to retain himself, and that this will be the opportunity that he really wanted it to be. That quote and this entry is for all of those in the military. I hope and pray that the quote is wrong and you all do come home unwounded.

Until next time, I’ll be cutting yellow ribbons,
autumn

�Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies.”~~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

Sometimes music is all a person has in life. Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t going to be an “emo” or “gothy” post. In reality, at one point in your life, you feel completely alone and cling to your music for relief. I know several of my friends and I have felt like that a lot in the past year.

That being said, certain songs during your life stay with you. Sometimes they bring pleasant memories, and sometimes the melody can be haunting. People have argued with me over the fact that there is no soundtrack to your life. I can’t accept that thought; music is meant to become part of you, to share the most important milestones in your life.

To test this theory, though, let’s play a little game. Think back to your first love… Remember when it was fresh, new, and you were sure it was going to last forever. Did you have a song? Maybe, not… but lets say a song from that time frame comes on the radio, are you transported back to the that time? Do you relive it a little? Then you and the first love break up, your heart is broken and you decide you will never feel complete again. What song was constantly on repeat? For me, it was Third Eye Blind’s How’s it Gonna Be. For those who are married, I’m sure that you could tell me what the 1st dance song was at your wedding. The same could be said for the 1st time you had sex, made love, had your brains fucked out while listening to music.

Naturally this applies more than just to relationships. School dances, concerts, the pissed off anthem, and the sing-a-long car rides. One of my favorite music memories though is the silly times with friends. I use to have a friend that would hang out with me next to the highway and we’d belt out songs from our favorite bands while cars drove by. Every time I hear one of those songs I can see us sitting on the hill singing the horrid renditions of it. And, while we are no longer friends it reminds me of why she was an important person in my life.

So, my darling readers, these memories are only one of the thousands of reasons why music, no matter who wrote and performed it, belongs to us. I hope you all have a soundtrack to your life, and I hope it grows more and more every day.

Until next time, when this damn song isn’t stuck in my head,
autumn

“Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything”~~Floyd Dell

I suppose I should start off this entry by apologizing for the lack of updates. Life seemed to catch up with us here at beshameless. You know what life gets like this time of year, graduations, weddings, cross country road trips, vacation to foriegn lands, and moving. One or more of those is the reason for my lack of updates, and as for the guys… well, they might fall into that category or maybe they are just uber slackers.

But needless to say I’ve been out of touch, and while I’ve watched the news and read articles I haven’t done anything more than that. My muse was definitely on vacation and I have nothing witty to say about current events. It seems that I’ve been an uber slacker too.

However, there are a couple things that I did want to mention. We’ve become sellouts and joined the ranks at Myspace.� I guess you can call it selling out, although I prefer the term shameless self-promotion. You can find us at BeShameless on Myspace. You should go and add us as friends, because at the moment that I’m writing this, Tom is our only friend. And, that my dear readers make us look like major losers.

Also, I just want to tell you to expect real updates soon. I have an idea spinning around in my head, and I think Ethan is doing some research on a topic as well.

Until next time, when I’ll really entertain you,
autumn

“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.” — Blaise Pascal

Today seems to be a day for protesting. As many of you know, today was “A day without immigrants”, and while I won’t go into to my thoughts on the matter. For that would be a long and tedious subject, I want to send my acknowledgement to those who took a stand today, no matter how they said it.

However, its been brought to my attention, a less than warranted protest took place today. One that received no media coverage, yet discouraged many people. I received a letter from one of my pagan friends, and she told me how local churches came to protest their ritual of Beltane.

Now without boring you with the details of what exactly Beltane is, I would just like to say it is a very intense religious ritual and deserves the utmost respect.
Yet, that was disrupted by people who are closed minded to the possibilities that there are other paths to the Divine. I find this totally uncalled for! I am outraged by the rudeness that this church displayed. That would be like that same group of pagans protesting a Christmas or Easter Service.

While, I support free speech and protesting this went beyond the limits. To actively seek out this group, to shout obscenities at them, and to belittle them?? That’s just plain malice. It really breaks my heart, because I thought such strides had been made in religious tolerance. I suppose that no matter how much a minority (be it religious or otherwise) is accepted, there will still be those who seek to discount, belittle, or persecute them.

Until next time, when hopefully compassion with our neighbors has grown,
autumn

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

On March 31, 2006, the long tangle of receiving justice started for one young transgender woman. A federal judge ruled that an employment discrimination suit for Diane Schroer could proceed to trial.

Diane, an Army Veteran, applied for a position at the Library of Congress as the senior terrorism research analyst. Shortly thereafter, Diane was offered the job, and she immediately accepted. However, before starting her new career, she took her future boss to lunch. Diane then explained that she was in the process of transitioning and thought it would be easier if she started work as female. The next day she received a call rescinding the job offer with the explanation that she wasn’t a “good fit” for the job in which she applied.

In June 2005, after hearing her story, the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) filed a suit with the Library of Congress on her behalf. The lawsuit states that the Library of Congress violated Diane’s rights in accordance with Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, which protects sex discrimination in the work place. The Library of Congress countered by saying that transgendered people are not covered under the aforementioned title. The court has overruled that claim and the case can now proceed to trial.

I applaud this decision and wish only the best for Ms. Schroer. I am thrilled that the judge made the decision to let justice be served. As the case proceeds I will continue to follow this story and hope you, the reader, will do the same.

Please read more of Diane’s story at ACLU- Diane Schroer Ruling
autumn

The very 1st entry to a blog always sucks. I know it and you know it, so there will be no bullshitting you here. I just wanted to extend a welcome to anyone who stumbles across us. Also, to assure you that in the coming days, in the midst of making changes, you can be privy to our insanity.

So until next time, when my writing skills have bettered themselves,
autumn