When you SELL a car the sign should read For SALE….
The dollar sign goes to the left of the number; the cents sign goes to the right. They’re going to park their cars over there. You’re showing your age. If he isn’t coming, I ain’t going.
I think a lot about the little inaccuracies that are commonly acceptable in our society. A few days ago I saw a car with the windows painted a lovely shade of shaving cream to read “for SELL.” Exactly like that; I’m not capitalizing for emphasis. The seller of said car had for in all lowercase letters and sell underneath it, taking up the better majority of the window space, in all capitals. I wanted to stop the car, in the middle of a six lane highway, and hose off the window. Let them figure out why. Then do it again when I come back two days later and it, again, says for sell.
Still mad about the stupid car on the side of the road when I went to bed that night, I started thinking. It’s really not his (or her) fault that he’s an idiot. It’s the fault of our public school system.
Before you start lacing your hate mail with anthrax powder, let me explain. In Kindergarten, we learn to share, clean up our cookie crumbs, write the alphabet, and count to ten. This is the very last time we visit these subjects in our education. In third grade we learn cursive writing, multiplication, and how to memorize the spelling of two and three syllable words long enough to pass the weekly spelling test. This is the very last time we visit these subjects in our education. Even multiplication, which is used in basically every other facet of mathematics from this point on, is never really reinforced. We are expected to memorize 2×2=4 4×4=16 16×16=who the hell cares? Numbers that size call for a calculator.
In fifth grade we learn that the Constitution was signed at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on September 17, 1787, bleu cheese is a form of mold and, to quote, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Assuming, of course, that you attend a school that doesn’t think teaching pre-pubescent kids what makes a boy a boy and what makes a girl a girl will make them want to try a little hands-on experimentation. And, according to Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, this is the very last time we visit these subjects in our education.
My point is that, while some things in our education are beaten into us (although I can think of none at the moment), most things are taught once and never again. It’s no wonder that a rocket scientist from MIT can go on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? and look like a complete doofus because they don’t remember automatically that there are 12 states whose names begin with vowels or that there are 4 I’s in Mississippi. Granted he doesn’t really need all 4 I’s in Mississippi to further the space exploration program but it amazes me that such simple things go by without anyone noticing that while they may be taught and may be taught well they are not remembered because they are displaced by other information.
We only use 10% of our brains’ capacity for learning. Imagine what kind of a race humans would be if we even used 20 or 25%.
Until next time, I’m off to fetch up on the latest versions of English syntax and World History…
Crimson